Suck on Nostalgia

As I was perusing the ever expanding internet tonight, I stumbled across this nice little throwback.



It reminded me of the days when a movie was about to start on TV, it was a BIG FUCKING DEAL. Like, get ready kids, here comes a MOOOOOOOOOVIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! And your eyes would widen and wind would come out of the TV that left your hair blown back. So I guess that meant hairspray would come out of the TV as well. Wind and hairspray.

I always swore I knew which movie it was going to be, too. My guesses were either "Superman, Rocky, Scrooged, or Hot to Trot" And most of the time, I was right.

Now when a movie starts on TV, the TV's like "Whatever, here's a movie. It's like a show but longer" followed by a fart sound. Not even a significant one either. Just a little half-rip squeek. "Watch a movie - faaaarrrrt" And the fart isn't pungent either, it's just a faint whiff of a basement or a potato chip.

"Is somebody eating chips?"

"No a movie just started on TV. We'll watch a quarter of it and get bored, then move onto doing something gay on our cell phone while the movie still plays in the background"

I think that's what the problem is, now. There are so many distractions that people just don't give a shit anymore, so they stopped hiring a hairspray man to reload their tv set once a week. That also explains why TV's are so thin these days. You don't need to fill them with awesomeness anymore, so there's no need for all that extra space.

It's a shame, really.