They hired some British guy for the new Superman. I'm not sure how I feel about the new Superman to begin with given that it is likely to have a bunch of slow motion shots and CGI backdrops as is the nature of Zak Snyder.
But a Brit for Superman? I don't know. I hate to sound like a dick, but I'd be just as bummed out if they hired an American to play James Bond. Some roles are cultural.
Although, Robert Downey Jr. did do a good job as Sherlock Holmes. I guess I don't have any clout in this opinion.
Forget I said anything.
Brandon Routh was fine, bring him back.
Okay, I'm going now.
This movie will probably be lame, but I'm gonna check it out anyway.
Sorry, you can go back to what you were doing.
Boobies.
Ha! I got your attention again! Okay, now I'm done.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Saturday, January 22, 2011
They stole it from us
I'm not a fan of the elitism that derives from special clubs, groups, orginizations, subcultures, classes, schools, cliques and the such. Which is why I don't like to call myself a geek due to the stigma associated with that term. However, based on the content and volume of media that I consume, one could rightfully call me a geek and I wouldn't have much headway to defend myself.
There are a handful of movies that I watch over and over again for which I have a genuine admiration. I understand that pretty much any movie that is even slightly mainstream has been viewed by thousands if not millions of people. Movie making is a business and the point is to attain as much exposure as possible to sell tickets, videos and related merchandise. That said, there are some movies that have come and gone, and are dead in the eye of the general public. Some of these movies turn to dust and blow away never to be seen again. Yet, a smaller few are held together on life support by a small community of people who care for and nurture these movies. It is that group of films, what used to be called the "Cult" film, that lacks mainstream exposure, but is adored and tended to by people who appreciate the movie a thousand times more than your average eat-it-up-shit-it-out moviegoer.
When I say underground, underexposed movies with an adoring audience used to be called "Cult Films" what I mean is that there is an ever expanding relationship with the community of insecure 17 - 38 year old's who are on a constant, desperate scavenge to be hip cool knowitalls about the latest pop culture fad and the corporate entities who own these "Cult" films wherein T Shirts, Posters, Special Edition DVD's, albums and more are shared in an "I won't tell if you won't tell" agreement which posits the idea that overnight hundreds of thousands of people suddenly discovered and are the ipso experts on, say "Evil Dead" or "Escape From New York" thereby negating such a movie's "Cult" status because, Charlie, no longer is a small group of adoring watchers keeping this movie alive. It's moved up to the next tier of film status which, for sake of conversation, we can call "Above Cult".
What causes this phenomenon more often than not comes in the form of an announcement of a remake or sequel to a property typically 15 years or older. A more recent example I can conjure would be "Tron". We heard about the Tron sequel close to 2 years before it's release date. This gave our Above Cult boys and girls to come out of the woodwork and profess their endless Tron fanhood. You would think they were there when it first came out. Sadly, most of these folks wouldn't have been born yet. The thing about Tron is, it's not a very good movie. The only people after, say 1996, who would even give it the time of day would be extreme nostalgists or Uber Geeks. After the dazzle of the, now extremely dated, special effects wore off, there really isn't much there for your standard movie goer. He goes into the computer, everything looks computer-y. He awkwardly stumbles around and stops the bad guy from stealing his program. The end.
Why would so many people claim they were the world's biggest Tron Fan? Their insecurity doesn't allow for them to humbly admit that maybe they know nothing about the original, but are somewhat intrigued by the look of the new movie. No. They "used to have Tron birthday parties" and "Dressed up as a Tron character for halloween" and some other bullshit that you can neither prove nor disprove and to do anything other than take their word for it isn't worth your energy.
Here's a good test for this specific "Tron" example. Tron was released on DVD once many years before the idea of a sequel was mentioned and can only be found on ebay at the going rate just shy of $100. If they claim to be such a huge Tron fan, ask to borrow their copy of the DVD because it is out of print and you can't find it anywhere. A hardcore Tron fan might say "No, I don't want you to scratch it, but I'll try to burn you one". A pseudo Tron fan will stutter and possibly pee in the Tron pants they bought at the mall last week.
I'm not writing this to prove my Tron fandom, I'm not much of a fan at all. Just a casual viewer who has seen it once or twice and saw the new one and pretty much enjoyed them. I only use that movie as an example because it harbors all of the traits of the larger point I am trying to make which is how hard it is to watch something you love get swallowed up and spit out by the general public who put your shoes on for a few months and return them with weird white stains that are impossible to remove.
It's like living in a quaint New England town that becomes victim to the trend of rich couples moving in. Their friends and friends' friends hear about the same town and next thing you know the property values have gone up so high that you can no longer afford to live in the town that generations of your family were raised in.
Another example I can use is the "Doug Effect". There is an episode of the cartoon, Doug (A show which has also been raped by trendsters) where a character in a TV show, by coincidence, starts dressing like Doug. Everybody at school assumes that Doug is dressing that way because he was inspired by the TV character. He is adamant that he has always dressed the way he does, but nobody believes him. Suddenly everybody in school is dressing like him. It drives him nuts so he tries to come up with a new look. By the time he does, the fad is over and he goes back to dressing like himself.
That's what happens to the movies we love sometimes. I am watching it happen right now to "Monster Squad" a movie I watched on TV countless times as a kid. I remember one day I was sorting through a bargain VHS bin where I found a copy of it and freaked out. I watched it over and over, tried to get other people to watch it and most were simply uninterested. I was fine with that. Maybe it sucked, but I didn't care. I enjoyed it and that's all that mattered. Cut to years later, suddenly it's "cool" to like the Universal monsters and Monster Squad is being dug out of obscurity for a DVD release. I was just as enthusiastic as finding the VHS copy because now I could see it in widescreen and listen to the director's commentary. But I noticed something odd. I started bumping into Monster Squad "Experts". "Where the fuck have you been?" I would think until it hit me. "Oh no, Monster Squad is going to be chewed up and spit out soon". Then, wouldn't ya know it - There is a Monster Squad remake on the way.
Now I'm ready to hear people tell me about their Monster Squad birthday themed parties they had as a kid as I nod silently while veins expand in my forehead. The matter of the fact was, Monster Squad was a box office failure. It was the last movie with any notoriety that was written and directed by Fred Dekker because of how much of a failure it was. It hardly scraped by in video tape sales. The only real fans were the little kids who found it on HBO when nobody was home. It was a small audience, but an adoring audience.
Why does this upset me? Shouldn't I be happy that the culture is now beginning to discover this much deserved movie? I should, but I'm not because I know for a fact that it's not being appreciated in the true sense of the word. The people who are now starting to take this movie on are only doing it for fad's sake. It will be forgotten about again once the next so called nostalgic fad hits the streets. I will only be witness to something being torn apart, eaten up and shit out by a group of people pretending to be something they aren't and care about something they don't.
Aside from remakes, there are other causes for once "Cult" movies to be placed on an Above cult pedestal such as an actor or director's death. This instance is even worse because it requires somebody do die in order to get noticed. I can see when Michael Keaton passes away, the same people who spit and shit on the Tim Burton Batman in the wake of the newfangled Christopher Nolan series will suddenly say "You know what ... maybe Michael Keaton was a better Batman than Christian Bale" to which I will respond with a chainsaw.
The sad thing about the Above Cult movie trend is that there is no stopping it. It is, however, important to observe it and point it out. It would be a crime if we were ignorant to this because there would be no way to distinguish between the people who truly care about something and the proverbial cult movie locusts who come and go in a blink having swallowed and shit out what you love most.
If you watch a movie under superficial pretenses, you may as well announce your hatred for it because you're only hurting the movie and the people who truly appreciate it. The movies I watch over and over again - the ones I give more attention to (If I ever had a kid, I would totally play favorites) I watch because I love them and that alone is my motivation to play them on loop when I'm working on a project or fall asleep to them every night. The only reason any of us should appreciate something is because of the meaning it holds to us as an individual and not how it affects the way you are perceived by the people around you. In other words, go find your own treehouse, douchebag.
There are a handful of movies that I watch over and over again for which I have a genuine admiration. I understand that pretty much any movie that is even slightly mainstream has been viewed by thousands if not millions of people. Movie making is a business and the point is to attain as much exposure as possible to sell tickets, videos and related merchandise. That said, there are some movies that have come and gone, and are dead in the eye of the general public. Some of these movies turn to dust and blow away never to be seen again. Yet, a smaller few are held together on life support by a small community of people who care for and nurture these movies. It is that group of films, what used to be called the "Cult" film, that lacks mainstream exposure, but is adored and tended to by people who appreciate the movie a thousand times more than your average eat-it-up-shit-it-out moviegoer.
When I say underground, underexposed movies with an adoring audience used to be called "Cult Films" what I mean is that there is an ever expanding relationship with the community of insecure 17 - 38 year old's who are on a constant, desperate scavenge to be hip cool knowitalls about the latest pop culture fad and the corporate entities who own these "Cult" films wherein T Shirts, Posters, Special Edition DVD's, albums and more are shared in an "I won't tell if you won't tell" agreement which posits the idea that overnight hundreds of thousands of people suddenly discovered and are the ipso experts on, say "Evil Dead" or "Escape From New York" thereby negating such a movie's "Cult" status because, Charlie, no longer is a small group of adoring watchers keeping this movie alive. It's moved up to the next tier of film status which, for sake of conversation, we can call "Above Cult".
What causes this phenomenon more often than not comes in the form of an announcement of a remake or sequel to a property typically 15 years or older. A more recent example I can conjure would be "Tron". We heard about the Tron sequel close to 2 years before it's release date. This gave our Above Cult boys and girls to come out of the woodwork and profess their endless Tron fanhood. You would think they were there when it first came out. Sadly, most of these folks wouldn't have been born yet. The thing about Tron is, it's not a very good movie. The only people after, say 1996, who would even give it the time of day would be extreme nostalgists or Uber Geeks. After the dazzle of the, now extremely dated, special effects wore off, there really isn't much there for your standard movie goer. He goes into the computer, everything looks computer-y. He awkwardly stumbles around and stops the bad guy from stealing his program. The end.
Why would so many people claim they were the world's biggest Tron Fan? Their insecurity doesn't allow for them to humbly admit that maybe they know nothing about the original, but are somewhat intrigued by the look of the new movie. No. They "used to have Tron birthday parties" and "Dressed up as a Tron character for halloween" and some other bullshit that you can neither prove nor disprove and to do anything other than take their word for it isn't worth your energy.
Here's a good test for this specific "Tron" example. Tron was released on DVD once many years before the idea of a sequel was mentioned and can only be found on ebay at the going rate just shy of $100. If they claim to be such a huge Tron fan, ask to borrow their copy of the DVD because it is out of print and you can't find it anywhere. A hardcore Tron fan might say "No, I don't want you to scratch it, but I'll try to burn you one". A pseudo Tron fan will stutter and possibly pee in the Tron pants they bought at the mall last week.
I'm not writing this to prove my Tron fandom, I'm not much of a fan at all. Just a casual viewer who has seen it once or twice and saw the new one and pretty much enjoyed them. I only use that movie as an example because it harbors all of the traits of the larger point I am trying to make which is how hard it is to watch something you love get swallowed up and spit out by the general public who put your shoes on for a few months and return them with weird white stains that are impossible to remove.
It's like living in a quaint New England town that becomes victim to the trend of rich couples moving in. Their friends and friends' friends hear about the same town and next thing you know the property values have gone up so high that you can no longer afford to live in the town that generations of your family were raised in.
Another example I can use is the "Doug Effect". There is an episode of the cartoon, Doug (A show which has also been raped by trendsters) where a character in a TV show, by coincidence, starts dressing like Doug. Everybody at school assumes that Doug is dressing that way because he was inspired by the TV character. He is adamant that he has always dressed the way he does, but nobody believes him. Suddenly everybody in school is dressing like him. It drives him nuts so he tries to come up with a new look. By the time he does, the fad is over and he goes back to dressing like himself.
That's what happens to the movies we love sometimes. I am watching it happen right now to "Monster Squad" a movie I watched on TV countless times as a kid. I remember one day I was sorting through a bargain VHS bin where I found a copy of it and freaked out. I watched it over and over, tried to get other people to watch it and most were simply uninterested. I was fine with that. Maybe it sucked, but I didn't care. I enjoyed it and that's all that mattered. Cut to years later, suddenly it's "cool" to like the Universal monsters and Monster Squad is being dug out of obscurity for a DVD release. I was just as enthusiastic as finding the VHS copy because now I could see it in widescreen and listen to the director's commentary. But I noticed something odd. I started bumping into Monster Squad "Experts". "Where the fuck have you been?" I would think until it hit me. "Oh no, Monster Squad is going to be chewed up and spit out soon". Then, wouldn't ya know it - There is a Monster Squad remake on the way.
Now I'm ready to hear people tell me about their Monster Squad birthday themed parties they had as a kid as I nod silently while veins expand in my forehead. The matter of the fact was, Monster Squad was a box office failure. It was the last movie with any notoriety that was written and directed by Fred Dekker because of how much of a failure it was. It hardly scraped by in video tape sales. The only real fans were the little kids who found it on HBO when nobody was home. It was a small audience, but an adoring audience.
Why does this upset me? Shouldn't I be happy that the culture is now beginning to discover this much deserved movie? I should, but I'm not because I know for a fact that it's not being appreciated in the true sense of the word. The people who are now starting to take this movie on are only doing it for fad's sake. It will be forgotten about again once the next so called nostalgic fad hits the streets. I will only be witness to something being torn apart, eaten up and shit out by a group of people pretending to be something they aren't and care about something they don't.
Aside from remakes, there are other causes for once "Cult" movies to be placed on an Above cult pedestal such as an actor or director's death. This instance is even worse because it requires somebody do die in order to get noticed. I can see when Michael Keaton passes away, the same people who spit and shit on the Tim Burton Batman in the wake of the newfangled Christopher Nolan series will suddenly say "You know what ... maybe Michael Keaton was a better Batman than Christian Bale" to which I will respond with a chainsaw.
The sad thing about the Above Cult movie trend is that there is no stopping it. It is, however, important to observe it and point it out. It would be a crime if we were ignorant to this because there would be no way to distinguish between the people who truly care about something and the proverbial cult movie locusts who come and go in a blink having swallowed and shit out what you love most.
If you watch a movie under superficial pretenses, you may as well announce your hatred for it because you're only hurting the movie and the people who truly appreciate it. The movies I watch over and over again - the ones I give more attention to (If I ever had a kid, I would totally play favorites) I watch because I love them and that alone is my motivation to play them on loop when I'm working on a project or fall asleep to them every night. The only reason any of us should appreciate something is because of the meaning it holds to us as an individual and not how it affects the way you are perceived by the people around you. In other words, go find your own treehouse, douchebag.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Oh...
The trailer to Big Momma's House 3: Bigger and Mamma'er has finally been released on the internet. Myself, I couldn't wait for it to launch online, so I went to the theater to see Country Strong because I knew the Big Momma's house trailer was set to play there. Watching Country Strong felt like smoking a cigarette with your asshole which is subjective depending if you enjoy that or not.
But man was the Big Momma's house 3 trailer mind blowing and a half. I've been waiting for this one since they left us on the cliffhanger that was Big Momma's house 2. Since I walked out of the theater, the only question on my mind was "Well? Does the homeless man fuck her or not?" I just can't wait. I already have my tickets to Sundance so I can catch the premiere of the final installment in the BMH Trilogy.
I have the trailer linked below. I only had one problem, I couldn't tell which one was which, so I posted 2 videos. One of them is the Big Momma's House 3 trailer ... I think.
Enjoy.
But man was the Big Momma's house 3 trailer mind blowing and a half. I've been waiting for this one since they left us on the cliffhanger that was Big Momma's house 2. Since I walked out of the theater, the only question on my mind was "Well? Does the homeless man fuck her or not?" I just can't wait. I already have my tickets to Sundance so I can catch the premiere of the final installment in the BMH Trilogy.
I have the trailer linked below. I only had one problem, I couldn't tell which one was which, so I posted 2 videos. One of them is the Big Momma's House 3 trailer ... I think.
Enjoy.
Friday, January 14, 2011
If it bleeds, we can kill it...
Justin Bieber was hospitalized. It really happened - check it out.
What this means is clear. All of the rumors that he was invincible have been proven false. According to the news, he was filming an episode of CSI when he had breathing troubles due to an allergic reaction. What caused that reaction, we're still not sure, but what we know is that he's allergic to something, which is promising. Some have supposed it could be a food allergy, others believe the reaction was caused by his trying to express human emotion on camera. More details as they arrive.
Excuse my excitement, but right now I feel like Lex Luthor when he discovered kryptonite.
What this means is clear. All of the rumors that he was invincible have been proven false. According to the news, he was filming an episode of CSI when he had breathing troubles due to an allergic reaction. What caused that reaction, we're still not sure, but what we know is that he's allergic to something, which is promising. Some have supposed it could be a food allergy, others believe the reaction was caused by his trying to express human emotion on camera. More details as they arrive.
Excuse my excitement, but right now I feel like Lex Luthor when he discovered kryptonite.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Suck on Nostalgia
As I was perusing the ever expanding internet tonight, I stumbled across this nice little throwback.
It reminded me of the days when a movie was about to start on TV, it was a BIG FUCKING DEAL. Like, get ready kids, here comes a MOOOOOOOOOVIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! And your eyes would widen and wind would come out of the TV that left your hair blown back. So I guess that meant hairspray would come out of the TV as well. Wind and hairspray.
I always swore I knew which movie it was going to be, too. My guesses were either "Superman, Rocky, Scrooged, or Hot to Trot" And most of the time, I was right.
Now when a movie starts on TV, the TV's like "Whatever, here's a movie. It's like a show but longer" followed by a fart sound. Not even a significant one either. Just a little half-rip squeek. "Watch a movie - faaaarrrrt" And the fart isn't pungent either, it's just a faint whiff of a basement or a potato chip.
"Is somebody eating chips?"
"No a movie just started on TV. We'll watch a quarter of it and get bored, then move onto doing something gay on our cell phone while the movie still plays in the background"
I think that's what the problem is, now. There are so many distractions that people just don't give a shit anymore, so they stopped hiring a hairspray man to reload their tv set once a week. That also explains why TV's are so thin these days. You don't need to fill them with awesomeness anymore, so there's no need for all that extra space.
It's a shame, really.
It reminded me of the days when a movie was about to start on TV, it was a BIG FUCKING DEAL. Like, get ready kids, here comes a MOOOOOOOOOVIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! And your eyes would widen and wind would come out of the TV that left your hair blown back. So I guess that meant hairspray would come out of the TV as well. Wind and hairspray.
I always swore I knew which movie it was going to be, too. My guesses were either "Superman, Rocky, Scrooged, or Hot to Trot" And most of the time, I was right.
Now when a movie starts on TV, the TV's like "Whatever, here's a movie. It's like a show but longer" followed by a fart sound. Not even a significant one either. Just a little half-rip squeek. "Watch a movie - faaaarrrrt" And the fart isn't pungent either, it's just a faint whiff of a basement or a potato chip.
"Is somebody eating chips?"
"No a movie just started on TV. We'll watch a quarter of it and get bored, then move onto doing something gay on our cell phone while the movie still plays in the background"
I think that's what the problem is, now. There are so many distractions that people just don't give a shit anymore, so they stopped hiring a hairspray man to reload their tv set once a week. That also explains why TV's are so thin these days. You don't need to fill them with awesomeness anymore, so there's no need for all that extra space.
It's a shame, really.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Ghostbastards
I've come to terms with the sad fact that some talents lose their juice when they age - Speilberg and Lucas are prime examples.
I wish somebody could do a study because there has to be some science to this. Like a gland that just dries up after 45. Or instead of producing chemicals that inspire good ideas, it starts to spill out poison after a certain number of years.
"Ow, my brain hurts"
"That's just the bad ideas, Georgie, you'll grow numb to that feeling over time"
As cool as Harold Ramis, and Dan Aykroyd are ... they've contributed some of the most mediocre comedies ever made in the last 2 decades. Not to mention Ivan Reitman who , let's face it, has really only made 3 or 4 good movies in a sea of dozens of titles that only make people laugh when you use them as a punchline. How easy is it to make fun of "Twins"? Very.
At this point, do we trust a new Ghostbuters script approved of by these guys?
Bill Murray's the only one I have faith in, but I bet he can be bullied into making a stinker with the right paycheck.
Worst of all, word on the street is this new movie will be about new Ghostbuster recruits being passed the torch. Fuck that. I don't want to see Michael Cera (because we all know, that dipshit will be picked) wearing a proton pack. Nor do we want it to be a slick updated white shiny proton pack that looks like something Apple made. And all the other new Ghostbusters will have douchebag haircuts, no doubt. (Is it just me getting old, or do haircuts piss other people off was well?)
There is a way this movie could work, but I doubt they would do it. I apologize ... there's no need to bother you with the fanfiction writer in me.
Let's pray Indiana Jones 4 - 2: Ghostbusters 3, never comes to be. Because no matter how much I bitch about it, you know I'm gonna go to the theater to see the damn thing and I don't think you'll be able to bear the whine heard around the world emitted from my nasal passages.
http://www.bestweekever.tv/2011-01-12/does-the-world-really-want-ghostbusters-3/
http://www.timesdaily.com/article/20110113/ARTICLES/301139997/1004?Title%3DSave-us-Bill-from-a-third-Ghostbusters-
I wish somebody could do a study because there has to be some science to this. Like a gland that just dries up after 45. Or instead of producing chemicals that inspire good ideas, it starts to spill out poison after a certain number of years.
"Ow, my brain hurts"
"That's just the bad ideas, Georgie, you'll grow numb to that feeling over time"
As cool as Harold Ramis, and Dan Aykroyd are ... they've contributed some of the most mediocre comedies ever made in the last 2 decades. Not to mention Ivan Reitman who , let's face it, has really only made 3 or 4 good movies in a sea of dozens of titles that only make people laugh when you use them as a punchline. How easy is it to make fun of "Twins"? Very.
At this point, do we trust a new Ghostbuters script approved of by these guys?
Bill Murray's the only one I have faith in, but I bet he can be bullied into making a stinker with the right paycheck.
Worst of all, word on the street is this new movie will be about new Ghostbuster recruits being passed the torch. Fuck that. I don't want to see Michael Cera (because we all know, that dipshit will be picked) wearing a proton pack. Nor do we want it to be a slick updated white shiny proton pack that looks like something Apple made. And all the other new Ghostbusters will have douchebag haircuts, no doubt. (Is it just me getting old, or do haircuts piss other people off was well?)
There is a way this movie could work, but I doubt they would do it. I apologize ... there's no need to bother you with the fanfiction writer in me.
Let's pray Indiana Jones 4 - 2: Ghostbusters 3, never comes to be. Because no matter how much I bitch about it, you know I'm gonna go to the theater to see the damn thing and I don't think you'll be able to bear the whine heard around the world emitted from my nasal passages.
http://www.bestweekever.tv/2011-01-12/does-the-world-really-want-ghostbusters-3/
http://www.timesdaily.com/article/20110113/ARTICLES/301139997/1004?Title%3DSave-us-Bill-from-a-third-Ghostbusters-
Saturday, January 1, 2011
The Black Swan and Obama
I saw Black Swan last night, not necessarily with expectations too high to meet, but pretty much knowing I was going to see a good movie. With all the award nominations and amazing reviews, and being a fan of the director, it was a sure shot that I would be entertained.
That said, am I the only asshole who can see through this movie? Within the first few minutes you can tell that this movie is for Fancy people. And when I use the word fancy, I mean it in the most derogatory way possible. To quote David Letterman in Cabin Boy - "Man oh man, do I hate me a fancy lad". It just had that certain air of arrogance to it that goes hand in hand with the performers and spectators of ballet, opera and any other art form that dictates you to wear a scarf when you talk about it.
Don't get me wrong, I appreciate and admire what these dancers do which is why as much of a turn-off the arrogance of it all can be, I was still optimistic to see what was going to happen in the movie.
Without ruining much, it's a story about a girl in a highly competitive dance company who gets a leading role and tortures herself to give the best performance she can which requires her to step outside of herself to "explore her darkside" or some such nonsense.
The movie rides on multiple themes, or story lines, but it fails to really focus on one, which was my major problem with the story. You have her relationship with her obsessed mother, the relationship with her pushy director, the competition with a fellow dancer, and the personal struggle which is dipping into insanity. All of these are fine conflicts to line together in a story, but it never seems to focus on one, so when the story comes to a climax you find yourself asking what the story is trying to tell you. Is this whole thing just a stew of metaphors that is intended to make us understand the struggle of a ballet dancer? Is there anything tangible going on? As nice as a metaphor can be, you still need an actual story for the viewer to follow. I hate to break it down so simplistically, but time and time again, we've learned the basics to tell a good story and when you stray too far, you lose your audience.
To compliment the movie, it was shot well and has some disturbing visuals that are more impressive than anything you'll see in a horror movie these days. I think that's about all the positive stuff I can say. I'm sitting here trying to conjure something positive to say about the acting, but it's pretty much 2 hours of Natalie Portman furrowing her brows. It wasn't her fault, there really was no dialogue to work with. Aside from her, none of the other actors have any significant moments in the story. So here I am trying to dig for compliments and I'm back to complaining about the thing.
Now to my main point which is the reception of this film. As I mentioned before, I was sure I was going to see a good movie. Basically, people are saying this is, if not the best movie of the year, most definitely a movie that will be nominated for best picture. I don't have much faith in the academy awards anymore, but it remains to be THE major ceremony honoring the best movies of the year, so it will always have my attention.
Why does everybody love this movie so damn much? Am I missing something here? I'm gonna go ahead and say it's not me this time. As you recall, I dubbed this is a fancy film. Oftentimes critics are afraid to stand out from the herd. And when one or two major critics steps up and raves or boos something, you'll notice that the rest will follow suit. If people are calling this the movie of the year and you're the guy who says "I beg to differ" then next thing you know it wins best picture, then you're the guy who didn't like best picture of the year. Maybe your colleagues don't look up to you as much, maybe your readers don't trust your reviews anymore. I can sense a lot of insecurity in that industry.
Do you recall the story of the Emperor's New Clothes? It's about somebody who claims to create an outfit for an emperor that is made of the finest fabric in the land. When he shows the king, he sees nothing, but is told that it is because the fabric is so fine that the mere human eye cannot see it. So he puts on nothing. Then walks around with his balls stuck to the side of his leg and everybody's afraid to tell him because he's the Emperor and he rules the land and he knows better than you and who are you to bring up his fallacies?
I'm pretty sure the Black Swan is walking around with it's balls stuck to the side of its leg, but everybody's afraid to say something because it's a fancy movie. Much like the liberals who are afraid to say anything negative about Obama. Well he's not as bad a Bush and he seems to have good intentions and I'm sure he just wants to help us even though he passed a bill that is going to make tons of money for private insurance companies while weighing down the country with another forced payment to worry about instead of a public option, and he's yet to pass any substantial legislation regulating the financial industry because maaayyybee, just maaayyybee corporate interests have more power than him. Oops.
Yeah I know Black Swan is fancy, and yes I know our black president isn't as mean to us as our last husband, but folks ... a spades a spade.
That said, am I the only asshole who can see through this movie? Within the first few minutes you can tell that this movie is for Fancy people. And when I use the word fancy, I mean it in the most derogatory way possible. To quote David Letterman in Cabin Boy - "Man oh man, do I hate me a fancy lad". It just had that certain air of arrogance to it that goes hand in hand with the performers and spectators of ballet, opera and any other art form that dictates you to wear a scarf when you talk about it.
Don't get me wrong, I appreciate and admire what these dancers do which is why as much of a turn-off the arrogance of it all can be, I was still optimistic to see what was going to happen in the movie.
Without ruining much, it's a story about a girl in a highly competitive dance company who gets a leading role and tortures herself to give the best performance she can which requires her to step outside of herself to "explore her darkside" or some such nonsense.
The movie rides on multiple themes, or story lines, but it fails to really focus on one, which was my major problem with the story. You have her relationship with her obsessed mother, the relationship with her pushy director, the competition with a fellow dancer, and the personal struggle which is dipping into insanity. All of these are fine conflicts to line together in a story, but it never seems to focus on one, so when the story comes to a climax you find yourself asking what the story is trying to tell you. Is this whole thing just a stew of metaphors that is intended to make us understand the struggle of a ballet dancer? Is there anything tangible going on? As nice as a metaphor can be, you still need an actual story for the viewer to follow. I hate to break it down so simplistically, but time and time again, we've learned the basics to tell a good story and when you stray too far, you lose your audience.
To compliment the movie, it was shot well and has some disturbing visuals that are more impressive than anything you'll see in a horror movie these days. I think that's about all the positive stuff I can say. I'm sitting here trying to conjure something positive to say about the acting, but it's pretty much 2 hours of Natalie Portman furrowing her brows. It wasn't her fault, there really was no dialogue to work with. Aside from her, none of the other actors have any significant moments in the story. So here I am trying to dig for compliments and I'm back to complaining about the thing.
Now to my main point which is the reception of this film. As I mentioned before, I was sure I was going to see a good movie. Basically, people are saying this is, if not the best movie of the year, most definitely a movie that will be nominated for best picture. I don't have much faith in the academy awards anymore, but it remains to be THE major ceremony honoring the best movies of the year, so it will always have my attention.
Why does everybody love this movie so damn much? Am I missing something here? I'm gonna go ahead and say it's not me this time. As you recall, I dubbed this is a fancy film. Oftentimes critics are afraid to stand out from the herd. And when one or two major critics steps up and raves or boos something, you'll notice that the rest will follow suit. If people are calling this the movie of the year and you're the guy who says "I beg to differ" then next thing you know it wins best picture, then you're the guy who didn't like best picture of the year. Maybe your colleagues don't look up to you as much, maybe your readers don't trust your reviews anymore. I can sense a lot of insecurity in that industry.
Do you recall the story of the Emperor's New Clothes? It's about somebody who claims to create an outfit for an emperor that is made of the finest fabric in the land. When he shows the king, he sees nothing, but is told that it is because the fabric is so fine that the mere human eye cannot see it. So he puts on nothing. Then walks around with his balls stuck to the side of his leg and everybody's afraid to tell him because he's the Emperor and he rules the land and he knows better than you and who are you to bring up his fallacies?
I'm pretty sure the Black Swan is walking around with it's balls stuck to the side of its leg, but everybody's afraid to say something because it's a fancy movie. Much like the liberals who are afraid to say anything negative about Obama. Well he's not as bad a Bush and he seems to have good intentions and I'm sure he just wants to help us even though he passed a bill that is going to make tons of money for private insurance companies while weighing down the country with another forced payment to worry about instead of a public option, and he's yet to pass any substantial legislation regulating the financial industry because maaayyybee, just maaayyybee corporate interests have more power than him. Oops.
Yeah I know Black Swan is fancy, and yes I know our black president isn't as mean to us as our last husband, but folks ... a spades a spade.
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