A legacy of horror

I'm a big fan of horror movie icons. Chucky, Freddy, Leatherface, Michael Myers, JASON. They're all heroes of mine and are a big part of my childhood. As a child, I was constantly seeking out every film these monsters starred in. They were my Frankenstein, Dracula or Wolfman.

As early as 8 years old, I was fluent in slasher cinema. Many people might question my upbringing. What kind of parents would let their children watch such violent movies? We had free HBO, and my parents weren't fags about it. I don't know what else to say. One day, some scruffy looking guy came into our house, clipped a few wires in the back of our cable box and my dad gave him five bucks. After that moment, I had access to all of the classics that formed my childhood.

Let's face it. There are certain R rated movies that were meant for children. This list includes, but is not limited to - Anything by Jackie Chan, Robocop, Terminator 2, Aliens, Predator, Rambo, Die Hard, Lethal Weapon, Total Recall, and most of the horror films made in the late 80's into the early 90's. Pretty much if the movie was accompanied by merchandising geared toward adolescents, then it was meant for kids regardless of the rating. Most of the movies I listed were spun off into action figures and, more importantly, video games.

My gateway to the Jason franchise was via the Friday the 13th NES game. One day a friend brought it over. We didn't know what the fuck we were supposed to do to beat it, but man were we scared shitless every time we walked into a cabin and Jason popped up at us. It was the first scary video game I had ever played, and I loved it. I loved cringing as I walked into each cabin, not sure what would be around the corner. It was like when somebody stretched out a rubber band and pointed it toward you. The longer they held it, the more you anticipated the snapping pain, the scarier it got. It was exciting. So you could imagine my reaction when my friend told me this was based on a movie. "WHAT!? You mean, like the Ninja Turtles Movie?"
"Yeah, like the ninja turtles"
Except I don't remember Splinter ever beating a teenager's head in with a rock.

Friday the 13th was the first horror series I watched. Having seen any of the Jason movies was like a status symbol in elementary school. You may have had dry snot caked under your nose and crayon stains all over your sweat pants, but if you saw a "Jason Movie" you were the man. Luckily for me, our stolen HBO signal streamed Friday the 13th marathons weekly.

Jason was my annual Halloween costume for at least 3 years. My budget conscious parents were big fans of the 3 dollar mask and plastic machete. I've since come to despise the cheap plastic hockey masks they sell for a dime a dozen at every wal-mart, but as a 10 year old, I couldn't have been more excited.

Having been my first monster crush, I have quite a soft spot for Jason. It is standard tradition for me to watch a Friday the 13th whenever said date falls on the calendar. On top of that, I watch the entire series every October.

As October is fast approaching, I thought it would be a good idea to use this blog to post a series of Friday the 13th reviews. Once every other day, I will watch the Friday the 13th movies in order and write a subsequent review.

Now, as you know, Jason has spun off into other series, so I have to place a set of guidelines for which movies will be reviewed.

-First and foremost, "Freddy Vs. Jason" is out of the game, as it is not a Freddy, or a Jason movie. It's a novelty, "what if" type of movie that barely ranks into the horror or slasher genre.

-No "Jason X". The abomination it is. The big mistake they made here was getting rid of the classic Jason costume. Putting a horror icon in space is the sitcom equivalent to jumping a shark. Jason X isn't really a "Friday the 13th movie" anyway. It was made when New Line bought the rights to the character but not the title. That type of cheap legal manipulation doesn't settle around here.

-"Jason Goes to Hell" is the first movie that used cheap legal tricks to make a Jason movie by avoiding the "Friday the 13th" label. The biggest sin committed in this one was the utter lack of Jason Vorhees. He shows up at the beginning for 5 mins and the end for 5 mins. The rest of the movie is a bunch of people being "possessed" by Jason through spitting some worm thing into each victim's throat. I can't begin to express how lame it is to make a Jason movie without Jason. There's only one offender worse than this in the horror genre. (See- Halloween 3)

Other than those 3, all "Friday the 13th" movies will be reviewed. That gives us eight golden movie nuggets to be revisited. This should be fun. I'm looking forward to all of the exposed, stoned and decapitated teenagers that are to come.