Another memo I didn't get. Well they probably gave it to me, but what fag reads memos?

Whether you caught it on the news, or became suspicious due to the lack of overabundant shouting on your television set, we're all well aware that one of the greatest TV personalities, Billy Mays has passed on. Be it from a small piece of overhead luggage tapping him on the head or a heavy duty cocaine overdose, either way, he's no longer here to sell us shit we didn't realize we needed.

This is all in the past. We're bummed out, but it's been long enough that we're pretty much over it by now. No more Billy May's shoutfest pitches and no more "Pitchmen" TV series.

- Uh Actually, Mark. Pitchmen's still on the air.

WHAT THE FUCK?!? Great, I swallowed my gum! What did I just hear?

- They're still airing new episodes of pitchmen.

Is it starring the ghost hunters? How the hell do you make a Billy Mays show without Billy Mays. That's like yanking the balls out of a ballsack.

- Well, Mark. There was another guy in the show as well.

Yeah, but nobody gave a shit about that guy. It was the Billy Mays show. When Billy Mays dies, you cancel it. Just like when they canceled "8 Simple Rules For Dating My Teenage Daughter" after John Ritter died.

- Actually Mark ...

FUCK ME.

I hope you all enjoy the new season of "Nut-Free Skinflap".